Going Out On A Roll.

You've endured the rant, now
download the flyer. Both sides, now.
© 2005. Mike Rehfus Creative Services

This has indeed been a season of changes for the author here, and most of them professional.

Avid readers of Hamtown Confidential (all 13-27 of you) have noticed a certain downturn in the frequency (but hopefully not the intensity) of updates to the old blog here. This is in no small part due to my return to the world of advertising, taking a full-time (say it with me: sweet, sweet health insurance) writing job several weeks ago at my old career haunt of Doner Advertising in Southfield.

Have no fear; Hamtown Confidential is in no danger of becoming a corporate tell-all blog. There are already plenty of those out there fouling the blog-o-sphere and I can think of about 25 better reasons to get booted out of corporate America than accusations of blogging away proprietary information.

I also intend to keep my hand on enough of a pulse of Hamtramck to make my posts, if less frequent, no less worthwhile.

For one, election season is upon us and I look forward to being a part of the problem AND solution there. Yes, there'll be a role for YOU in all of this. Oh, yes there will...

But I digress. Back to topic: Career Changes.

Most of you know I was employed by the local weekly, The Citizen, serving as Art Director for the last two years and change. I had a wonderful time of it and would've been there to bury the rag had the compensation picture afforded it. But alas, The Citizen was no match for the coffers of old Doner.

A key point in my negotiations with Doner, however, was an accommodation for me and The Citizen. I required that I be allowed to produce three more issues of the Citizen, if only to let the powers that be at the paper develop their post-Mike contingency.

This made the current issue of The Citizen my final.

As a parting shot, I was asked by Citizen Editor Charles Sercombe if I'd care to bring Hamtown Confidential back to ink and pulp before I left, based primarily around my favorite warm weather cause celebre, pushmower awareness (a familiar topic around here to be sure).

I was happy to oblige, and even happier to use the occasion to plug the electronic version here. So without further ado, here it is: my final (for the moment) written-for-print Hamtown Confidential column.

(By the way: you 13-27 readers out there, as well as folks who've read the above flyer and our Hamtown Pushmower Posse sister blog, may recognize some familiar syntax. Forgive me).

Please enjoy. (And comment).

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(Originally published in the May 11, 2005 issue of The Citizen).

Mowing season is here: let's roll

By Michael Rehfus

Hello again, Citizen readers. It's been a cool nine months since Hamtown Confidential has appeared in glorious black and white, but something so outrageous and disturbing has been springing up all around us here in Hamtramck of late, that I, for one, couldn't keep quiet about it:

Noisy, polluting gas-powered lawn care equipment.

As some may recall, I'm a bit of a reel blade push mower nut (I prefer "enthusiast"). In fact, this past Earth Day, I officially launched a club: the Hamtown Pushmower Posse. Like any fanatical sect, we have a foundation for our dogma. Ours is based on two actual events from the summer of 2004.

Event one occurred as I was driving down Trowbridge when I noticed what looked to be the smoke from a garage fire. I doubled back up the alley and what I saw shocked me: a man struggling to cut his tiny, weedy backyard with an old gas mower, while the thick blue exhaust enveloped two children playing on a swing set.

Event two occurred in almost daily installments as a neighbor employed up to four (4) different gas-powered lawn care implements to tame approximately 1000 sq ft. of lawn. Without fail, the equipment would fire up around nap time for our unbelievably cute little boy, our neighbor traveling, equipment revving, from front yard to back between the houses, directly below the nursery window.

Brothers and sisters, this is madness. Especially in a town as compact as Hamtramck. Pace off your lawn: if it's greater than 1000 sq ft you are blessed. If you're one of those folks mowing old cow pastures up in Brighton, I can see a need for gas-powered gear. But here? Madness.

Now, I've come to realize how dangerous a proposition it is to come between my neighbors and their gas-mowers. We are Americans, hear us roar. What still mystifies me, though, is the amazing disconnect for even the most thoughtful and educated people when it comes to acknowledging the true costs. For example:

- A gas-powered mower produces as much air pollution per hour as 40 cars or driving one car 340 miles.
- Owners of gas-powered lawn care equipment spill 17 million gallons of fuel per year, as much spilled in the Exxon Valdez disaster.
- A gas-powered mower can produce as much noise as a DC-10 airliner on approach. Without ear protection, as little as 5 minutes of exposure can cause permanent hearing loss.
- Gas-powered lawn care equipment creates up to 5% of US air pollution, more in densely populated areas.
- The noise pollution generated mowing one Hamtramck-sized lawn affects the 133 neighboring homes.

"But Mike," a reader might say, "firing up my lawnmower is a ritual up there with hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet."

To which Mike says: "But reader, hot dogs contain pig snouts, apple pie makes you fat, and Chevrolet hasn't put out a desirable car in 35 years."

Okay, I'm just getting pushy now. And so should you, as in grabbing a push mower and pushing on to a better lawn, neighborhood and world.

The fact is, technology has made reel blade mowers lighter and more maintenance-free, and fuel prices aren't going anywhere but up. Add to that the average cost of a new push mower ($125), ease of storage (anywhere), the advantages to your lawn (free mulch), ease of operation (very), and the noise and air pollution factor (none), and the choice should be obvious:

You're saddling up with the Hamtown Pushmower Posse.

Action, education and example are the tools of the HPP, saner, smarter and quieter lawn care are is our modus operandi. It's what good neighbors do, and ultimately, that is what the Hamtown Pushmower Posse is all about:

At all times, and in all ways, being better neighbors.

For the Hamtown Pushmower Posse manifesto, plus contact info and many useful resources, visit pushmower.blogspot.com.

And with that, neighbor, I ride off into the sunset. This issue marks my last hurrah as regular Art Director for The Citizen. I'm off to greener (in more ways than one) career pastures, but fear not, I'll be staying put here in Hamtown with my lovely wife and kids. Look me up or drop me a line here at the paper, I'll get it.

I may contribute a column from time to time, but you can keep up with this column in its electronic form at HamtownConfidential.com. Check in with me there and drop me your tips. As always, it'll be off the record, on the QT...

And strictly Hamtown Confidential.